Your Sexually Addicted Spouse: How Partners Can Cope and Heal PDF
Preview Your Sexually Addicted Spouse: How Partners Can Cope and Heal
Table of Contents Title Page Dedication Authors’ Note Introduction PART I - WHEN YOUR PARTNER’S SEXUAL ADDICTION SHATTERS YOUR WORLD Chapter 1 - What is Trauma and Post-Traumatic Stress? What is Trauma and Post-Traumatic Stress? Trauma Defined Trauma’s Symptoms and its Long-Lasting Effects Post-Traumatic Stress and Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder Relational Traumas Infidelity and Relational Trauma What We See in Our Work with Partners Partners’ Descriptions of Their Betrayal Experiences Chapter 2 - A Study in Contrasts: Is it Co-Addiction or is it Trauma? THE CO-ADDICTION PERSPECTIVE THE TRAUMA PERSPECTIVE Chapter 3 - Why Your Partner’s Sex Addiction Hurts So Much: Attachment Bonds Betrayed Our Deepest Attachment Bond and Trauma Attachment Bonds: What They Are and ... Fear of Abandonment: The Fundamental Human Fear When Attachment Bonds are Betrayed: The Impact of Relational Trauma The Destructive Effects of Repeated Relational Trauma The Painful Effects of Delayed Reconnection The Betrayal of the Marital Promise HIV and STD Risks Chapter 4 - How the Addiction and Trauma Models Differ in Helping You Heal Many Partners Do Not Enable Once They Discover the Reality A Messy Exterior Does Not Equal Codependency The Addiction/12-Step Approach to Treatment Strengths of the Addiction/12-Step Approach What We Believe Gets Overlooked in the 12-Step Approach The Importance of Knowing the Whole Truth Partners Seek Truth, Not Control Recognizing and Understanding a Partner’s Motivation Why We Believe it’s Important to Re-Frame a Partner’s Reactions as Trauma Is 12-Step Recovery Work a Good Adjunct in Your Healing Journey? Chapter 5 - Trauma Impacts on Every Level: Potential Physical and Mental ... Trauma, PTSD and Your Brain Fear Activates the Amygdala Where Does Stress End and Trauma Begin? Action’s Countering Force The Power of Powerlessness The Mistake of “Emotion-Focused” Change Neurochemical and Physiological Differences between Trauma and PTSD Enter PTSD The Chemistry Behind Indiscriminate Fight or Flight Responses PTSD’s Impact on the Brain Can Skew Your Judgment PTSD Interferes With One’s Ability to Self-Sooth “Speechless Terror” Nature’s Just-As-If Response PTSD Can Interfere with Your Therapeutic Process Earlier Life Trauma Can Set You Up for Trauma Later in Life Trauma’s Body-Wide Damage Trauma’s Impact on Mental Health Trauma’s Supercharged Hormone Baths and Our Health Cortisol: A Critical Culprit Common Conditions that Trauma can Trigger PART II - YOUR JOURNEY TOWARD WHOLENESS Chapter 6 - Healing from Trauma and Post-Traumatic Stress Caveats in Healing from Betrayal Trauma The Starting Point: Find Support Immediately Consider a Specialized Counselor Who Can Provide a Directed, Supportive ... Consider Including a Polygraph Test in Disclosure Re-Establish Your Safety Find or Build Good Support Systems Consider Family Members or Close Friends If They Are “Safe” Consider Your Minister, Rabbi or Other Clergy if He or She is “Safe” Find a Counselor Who Specializes in Sex Addiction or Trauma if Possible You May Need to Educate Your Support System about Trauma’s Effects Join a “Partners of Sex Addicts” Support Group Qualities Found in Healthy Groups Seek a Doctor’s Help if You’re Struggling with Depression or Anxiety An Additional Word about Suicidal Thoughts or Feelings Create the Boundaries You Need to Feel Safe in Your Home Again Triggers Boundaries Safety A Shift in Focus from Making Your Partner Stop to Creating the Boundaries You ... What Do I Need? Identify Your Triggers and Consider Boundaries to Block Them Plan for Triggering Situations Do You Need Sexual Boundaries With Your Partner? Do You Need A Temporary Separation? In-Home Separation Actual Temporary Separation What Other Boundaries Do You Need? Practice Good Self-Care The Three Components of Self-Care Mental/Emotional Physical Spiritual Good Self-Care Can Help You Continue to Care for Your Children and Continue ... Chapter 7 - From Crisis to Stability The Paralyzing Power of Fear and Grief The Power of Fear The Power of Grief Creating Boundaries Between Yourself and Trauma’s Fear and Grief Learning to Self-Soothe and Renew for Greater Self-Control and Peace Mental and Physical “Loosening Techniques” Distraction Processing Build the Quality of Resiliency in Your Personality Understand and Conquer Dissociation Dissociation What Causes Dissociation? Countering Dissociation with Grounding and Impersonal Energy Impersonal Energy Eliminate Cognitive Distortions Eliminate Negative Self-Talk Learn and Use Positive Self-Talk Begin Emotional Processing and Grieving Get the Help of a Counselor if Possible The Steps that Lead to Healing Possible Methods for Processing Your Pain A Closer Look at the Healing Methods Listed Externalize the Problem by Sharing ... Nature Based Healing Expressive Therapy Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing Renegotiating Your Trauma with a Counselor’s Therapeutic Interventions Body Therapies Chapter 8 - From Integration to Triumph Cultivate Personal Empowerment What Empowerment Is The “F” Word: Consider Forgiveness Integration and Transformation Finding New Hope by Transforming Past Pain Into a Positive Purpose PART III - STORIES FROM THE OTHER SIDE Life After Trauma’s Impact Chapter 9 - From the Hearts of Sex Addicts Who “Get It” and Care Story One Story Two Story Three Story Four Story Five Story Six Chapter 10 - From the Lives of Partners and Former Partners of Sex Addicts Story Seven Story Eight Story Nine Story Ten Conclusion Appendix Acknowledgements Resources Notes Bibliography Copyright Page
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