The Manipulative Man: Identify His Behavior, Counter the Abuse, Regain Control

232 Pages·2006·1.19 MB·English

by  Dorothy Mccoy

THE
Manipulative
MAN
Identify His Behavior,
Counter the Abuse,
Regain Control
Dorothy McCoy, Ed.D.
Copyright ©2006 Dorothy McCoy, Ed.D.
All rights reserved.
This book, or parts thereof, may not be reproduced in any form without permission from the publisher;
exceptions are made for brief excerpts used in published reviews.
Published by Adams Media, a division of F+W Media, Inc.
57 Littlefeld Street
Avon, MA 02322
www.adamsmedia.com
ISBN 10: 1-59337-623-5
ISBN 13: 978-1-59337-623-9
Printed in the United States of America.
10 9 8 7 6 5 4
Library of Congress Cataloging in Publication Data
McCoy, Dorothy.
The manipulative man / Dorothy McCoy.
p. cm.
Includes bibliographical references.
ISBN 1-59337-623-5
1. Man-woman relationships—Psychological aspects. 2. Men—Psychology.
3. Manipulative behavior. 4. Typology (Psychology) 5. Personality disorders.
I. Title.
HQ801.M486 2006
646.7'70874—dc22
2006005006
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Dedication
THIS BOOK IS dedicated to the men and women in blue who have given their
lives while serving and protecting their communities.
There are more than 870,000 sworn law enforcement officers now serving in
the United States, which is the highest figure ever. About 11.7 percent of those
are female.
In 2004, there were more than 1.4 million violent crimes committed in the
United States (according to the National Crime Victimization Survey conducted
by the Bureau of Justice Statistics). The annual number of violent crimes has
declined by 35 percent since it peaked in 1993 at 4 million.
Crime fighting has taken its toll. Since the first recorded police death in 1792,
there have been more than 17,000 law enforcement officers killed in the line of
duty. Currently, there are 17,081 names engraved on the walls of the National
Law Enforcement Officers Memorial.
A total of 1,649 law enforcement officers died in the line of duty during the
past ten years, an average of one death every 53.5 hours or 164 per year. There
were 153 law enforcement officers killed in 2004.—Data from the National Law
Enforcement Officer Memorial Fund (www.nleomf.com/TheMemorial/Facts)
Contents
Acknowledgments
Chapter 1
Manipulation, Thy Name Is Man
Who Manipulates?
Let's Meet the Personality Disorders
Personality Disorders and Characteristics
The Dark Side
A Gentler Theory of Personality
Chapter 2
The Mama's Boy
The Lost Mother: The Ideal Mother
Criteria for the Mama's Boy
CASE STUDY #1: Larson and Janice
Sample Dialogue for James and Michelle
CASE STUDY #2: John and Anita
CASE STUDY #3: Ben and Lorie
Starring the Mama's Boy
Dealing with a Mama's Boy
The Bottom Line
The Mama's Boy Test
Scoring the Test
Conclusion
Chapter 3
The Workaholic
Criteria for the Workaholic
The Workaholic and the American Work Ethic
CASE STUDY #1: Bobby and Denise
CASE STUDY #2: Charles and Karen
Starring the Workaholic
Dealing with the Workaholic
The Bottom Line
The Workaholic Test
Scoring the Test
Conclusion
Chapter 4
The Eternal Jock
Criteria for the Jock
CASE STUDY #1: Rocky and Kelly
CASE STUDY #2: Kyle and Tammy
Starring the Eternal Jock
Dealing with a Jock
The Bottom Line
The Jock Test
Scoring the Test
Conclusion
Chapter 5
The Dependent Man: The Woe-Is-Me Complex
Criteria for the Dependent Personality
CASE STUDY #1: Rick and Stephanie
CASE STUDY #2: Aaron and Tina
Other Dependent Types
Starring the Dependent Man
Dealing with the Dependent Man
The Bottom Line
The Dependent Man Test
Scoring the Test
Conclusion
Chapter 6
Exciting Risk-Takers and Full-Blown Antisocials
Criteria for Antisocials and Exciting Risk-Takers
CASE STUDY #1: Jarrod and Nadine
CASE STUDY #2: Juan and Lilly
Starring the Antisocial
Dealing with the Antisocial
The Bottom Line
The Exciting Risk-Taker Test
Scoring the Test
Conclusion
Chapter 7
The Womanizer
Criteria for the Womanizer and the Player
CASE STUDY #1: Derrick and Megan
CASE STUDY #2: Allen and Darlene
Starring the Womanizer
Dealing with the Womanizer or the Player
The Bottom Line
The Womanizer or Player Test
Scoring the Test
Myths about Affairs
Conclusion
Chapter 8
The Passive-Aggressive Man
Criteria for the Passive-Aggressive Man
CASE STUDY #1: David and Susan
Early Names and Descriptions for Passive-Aggressive Behavior
CASE STUDY #2: Dennis and Sage
Cognitive-Behavioral Treatment for Passive-Aggressive Behavior
Starring the Passive-Aggressive Man
Dealing with the Passive-Aggressive Man
The Bottom Line
The Passive-Aggressive Test
Scoring the Test
Conclusion
Chapter 9
The Narcissist
Criteria for the Narcissistic Personality
CASE STUDY #1: Darren and Rachel
The Successful Narcissist
The Unstable Narcissist
CASE STUDY #2: Jake and Ally
Starring the Narcissist
Dealing with the Narcissist
The Bottom Line
The Narcissist Test
Scoring the Test
Conclusion
Chapter 10
The Psychopath
Criteria for the Psychopath
Are Psychopaths Born or Raised?
CASE STUDY #1: Alex and Lauren
CASE STUDY #2: Edward and Emmy
Starring the Psychopath
Dealing with a Psychopath
The Bottom Line
The Psychopath Test
Scoring the Test
Conclusion
Chapter 11
Understanding and Surviving the Violent Manipulator
Early Life: The Bully
Do Schoolyard Bullies Grow into Intimidating Adults?
Other Contributing Factors
Why Men Batter
Domestic Abuse and Alcohol
Perception and Abuse
Seeing the Warning Signs
Immediate Danger Signals
Denial and Safely
A Safety Plan
After You Leave
What Is Being Done to Help Victims?
Chapter 12
Why You Chose Mr. Wrong: Making New Choices
Who Is Vulnerable to Manipulation?
The Qualities of a Healthy Relationship
Transforming Abstract Concepts into Behaviors
Resilience: What It Means and How It Helps
The Resiliency Test
Scoring the Test
How Resilience Can Help You Overcome Manipulation
Increasing Resilience
Resilience Factors
Chapter 13
Don't Fall into the Manipulation Trap
Control Beliefs and Traits: Healthy Alternatives
Manipulative Behaviors and Assertive Alternatives
Internal and External Power
A Tooth for a Tooth and an Eye for an Eye
Conclusion
References