The Bride's Etiquette Guide: Etiquette Made Easy

209 Pages·2009·3.297 MB·English

by  Pamela A. Lach

WEDDINGS
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Practical, down-to-Earth answErs E Br i dE ’s
for all thE ModErn BridE’s quEstions
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ttiiqquueettttee
W r EE
ith so many new bridal trends popping up and so much about
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wedding etiquette in flux, today’s bride needs a guide that answers d
her questions simply and clearly, without adding to the chaos and
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increasing stress levels. The Bride’s Etiquette Guide unveils answers
to a bevy of etiquette questions, covering everything from writing ’
s
engagement announcements and coordinating the wedding
G u i d E
processional to introducing relatives at the reception and sending E
out thank-you cards. This accessible, easy-to-read handbook is also
t
completely updated to reflect complicated contemporary issues
such as: i
q
EtiquEttE Mad E Easy
How can I let guests know about my wedding Web site?
u
Second Edition
When should I mail save-the-date cards? E
t
How do I seat divorced and remarried parents
at the ceremony and reception? t
E
And much more

G
Neither stuffy nor snarky, The Bride’s Etiquette Guide is a dependable
voice that every bride can trust, whether she needs a complete
u
wedding crash course or just bits of advice on specific situations.
Above all, it will help ensure a fun and stress-free wedding. i
d
also available
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The Bride’s Thank You Guide
L
a
$8.95 (CAN $9.95) c
h
ISBN 978-1-55652-940-5
50895
Pamela A. Lach
9 781556 529405 author of The Bride’s Thank You Guide
t h E
Br i dE ’s
tiquette
E
G u i d E
EtiquEttE MadE Easy
Second Edition
Pamela A. Lach
Bride's Etiquette_FINAL.indd 1 1/28/09 4:27:23 PM
Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication
Lach, Pamela A., 1954–
The bride’s etiquette guide / Pamela A. Lach.
p. cm.
Includes index.
ISBN 978-1-55652-940-5
1. Wedding etiquette. 2. Etiquette for women. I. Title
BJ2051.L29 1998 98-18501
395.2’2—dc21

A variety of names have been used for the purpose of providing
examples. Any similarity to actual people is purely coincidental.
Cover design: Visible Logic
Cover photo: Alexandra Grablewski / Botanica / Jupiterimages
Interior design: Jonathan Hahn
© 1998, 2009 by Pamela A. Lach
All rights reserved
Published by Chicago Review Press, Incorporated
814 North Franklin Street
Chicago, IL 60610
ISBN 978-1-55652-940-5
Printed in the United States of America
5 4 3 2 1
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Contents
Introduction vii
1
1.Gñ eRttining� E tEiqnue�tate� e d 5
ñ Announcing the Engagement 7
ñ The Engagement Celebration 17
19
ñ2 D. eWfininedg dYionu�r WBeed�diinnngi nS�tysle 21
ñ Destination Weddings 22
ñ The Wedding Party 25
ñ What to Wear 31
ñ Wedding Web Sites 41
45
3. ñY oTuh eA Gruee sIt nLviistte d 47
ñ Save-the-Date Cards 52
ñ Wedding Invitations 54
ñ Wording on the Invitations 57
ñ Enclosure Cards 66
ñ Addressing Envelopes 69
ñ Assembling and Mailing Invitations 71
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73
4. Who ñD Woeesd dWingh Taitm?e tAabnled W75 hen?
ñ Financial Responsibilities 80
ñ Wedding Responsibilities 85
89
5. Theñ W Firesdt dDienc�i sCionesr e m91ony
ñ Selecting the Officiant 92
ñ Rehearsal 93
ñ Rehearsal Dinner 94
ñ Before the Ceremony 96
ñ Who Sits Where? 99
ñ Seating for a Double Wedding 101
ñ Usher’s Role 102
ñ Processional and Recessional 104
ñ Receiving Line 109
113
ñ6 .U nMiforimlist aanryd PWropeedrd Aintt�ire 115
ñ Special Customs 117
ñ The Arch of Sabers or Swords 117
119
ñ Cho7o.s inTgh Yeo Rur eRceecpetpiotinon Sty le 121
ñ Dinner Seating Arrangements 123
ñ Toasts 126
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ñ Alcoholic Beverages 128
ñ Blessing or Grace 129
ñ Music and Dancing 130

133
ñ T8en. TMips afonrn Ienrtsr o1d0uc1tions 135
ñ The Proper Way to Introduce Someone 135
ñ All About Names 137
ñ Meal Manners 140
ñ The Proper Way to Eat Specific Foods 142
145
9. Givinñ� a Gnidft sR foerc Yeiovui n �1 4G7 ifts
ñ Displaying Wedding Gifts 149
ñ Gift Registry 150
ñ Wedding Showers 152
ñ Gifts From You 155
ñ Tips and Gratuities for the Wedding 156

159
ñ1 0Gi.f t SAacykinno�w lTedhgamnekn tY Coaurds 161
ñ Thank-You Cards 161
ñ Deadline for Mailing 163
ñ Help with the Wording 163
167
ñ11 .H aCndolnintgr oDveifrfisciaullt SSiutubajteicotnss 169
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171
12. Whñen W Bedaddin gT Fheinar�ss H173appen
ñ Broken Engagement 175
ñ Canceled Wedding 176
ñ Unexpected Death 177
A Final Note 179
Wedding Glossary 183
Index 197
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Introduction
This book is for every bride who is overwhelmed by all the ques-
tions that she must answer; befuddled by the countless decisions
that she must make; and frustrated by the contradictory and some-
times self-serving advice that she receives.
That’s you, isn’t it? You genuinely want to come up with the
right answers and make suitable decisions. Yet you don’t have time
to wade through a huge book every time a question arises, espe-
cially when your life and your wedding plans don’t necessarily fit a
perfect traditional mold.
You need a bridal etiquette book because you only get married
once—well, hopefully. There are traditions, customs, and practices
that apply to a wedding celebration that are unfamiliar to you. There
is no reason that you should know all of the answers. Planning a
wedding has not been part of your daily life until now.
Even the simplest wedding requires you to choose among
options, answer questions, and prepare a plan. You need this source
at your fingertips to guide you through the tangled network of
information.
So how do I know so much about weddings? Over the years,
I’ve written four other wedding-related books. I learned about wed-
dings the hard way: by attending and participating in them. After I
saw the many fiascoes that occurred at those weddings, other peo-
ple asked me to help them avoid such problems. Then their friends
and relatives wanted assistance, too. I wrote down practical and
vii
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IntroductIon
viii
realistic advice for wedding planning, saving money, writing thank-
you notes, and surviving the initial years of marriage.
An acquaintance, who didn’t know that some of my books
were about this topic, was speaking about a recent wedding that we
attended. Someone (not me) mentioned that the bride could have
used a good etiquette book. The acquaintance responded, “Who
cares about etiquette nowadays? Who needs to be told what to do
by some stuffy prune wearing white gloves and a flowered hat?”
You can imagine how I loved that comment! Actually I’m wear-
ing jeans as I write this, and I’m neither prim nor pompous. And I
haven’t worn white gloves or a flowered hat since I was six years
old.
From now on your wedding planning will be easier in many
ways. This book is organized into twelve chapters. Each chapter
discusses a large variety of questions and concerns and suggests
traditional answers and solutions and adapts well-established cus-
toms to more modern situations. In addition, a glossary explains
common and confusing terms you may encounter. In this newly
revised edition, I have added information on save-the-date notices,
destination weddings, and wedding Web sites. Chapter 8 is a primer
on manners to help get you through all the introductions, gatherings,
and dinners—you’ll feel relaxed, confident, and ready to apply the
basic etiquette principles to any special situations or unique cir-
cumstances that relate to your wedding. And finally, in the back of
the book, you will find a helpful index.
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1
Getting
Engaged
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