Stress: The Psychology of Managing Pressure PDF
Preview Stress: The Psychology of Managing Pressure
CONTENTS FOREWORD CHAPTER 1 STRESS IN PERSPECTIVE HOW STRESS AFFECTS YOUR BODY AND MIND What is stress? What it is, and what it isn’t Naturally stressed A necessary part of life Can stress be good for us? A boost to the system Acquiring resilience Bend but don’t break The body’s alarm system The physiology of stress Identify your stressors Finding the problem spots Coping mechanisms Getting some control Stressed by nature? Personality and pressure Taking it like a man? Men, women, and stress Perfectly imperfect The relief of realistic standards Self-compassion Becoming your own comforter Writing it out Keeping a stress diary Am I worth it? Stress and self-esteem Finding meaning Making stress worthwhile Feeling in control Understanding our limits Breaking the worry cycle Dealing with uncertainty De-stress your thinking The power of CBT How stressed? Between discomfort and danger CHAPTER 2 A CONSTANT COMPANION STRATEGIES FOR DEALING WITH LONG-TERM STRESS Pressures of today Is life more stressful than ever? Tackling technostress Coping in the digital age Balls in the air The stress of multitasking Mirror, mirror Body issues Secure in love? Stress and relationships Not tonight, honey Sex and intimacy Pressures of parenthood Creating a calm home life In the workplace Pressure to perform Job burnout Knowing when to stop The pressure to spend Managing your money Money worries Surviving debt and insecurity Assert yourself Learning to draw the line Speaking up Asking for what you want Stop crowding me! Coping with busy spaces In green places The time-honored cure of nature Music and silence The ear as healer Stress and older people Growing old gracefully Always there for you How to be a stronger caregiver Letting things go The power of forgiveness Giving thanks How gratitude can lower stress CHAPTER 3 STRESS IN THE MOMENT TROUBLESHOOTING TACTICS FOR SHORT-TERM STRESS Turning points Stress in times of change The big day looms Handling performance anxiety At odds with others Managing the stress of conflict I can’t stand it! How to deal with frustration When love ends Breakup and divorce Life after loss How to deal with bereavement Learning to face facts Acceptance and commitment Breathe in, breathe out Breath control remedies Learning to loosen up Progressive Muscle Relaxation Take a moment Mindfulness and meditation Let’s celebrate Making holidays less stressful I need a drink Stress and alcohol Avoiding avoidance How to stop stress ruling you Staying well Stress and ill health CHAPTER 4 DE-STRESSING YOUR LIFE CREATING A CALMER EXISTENCE Too much on your plate How to prioritize Balancing act How to juggle work and home Why free time counts The value of leisure Fighting fit The role of exercise The walking cure How to de-stress with a stroll Mindful movement De-stressing with yoga and tai chi Stress and food Eating under pressure A good night’s sleep Beating insomnia The simple life Decluttering home and habits Strong enough How to manage your willpower Resisting old habits Staying firm under pressure Total immersion The art of finding flow The human safety net Friendship and support Positive talk The benefits of avoiding complaints Seeing the funny side The role of humor Get creative Beating stress with arts and crafts The power of pets The calming effects of animals All on your own? The stress of loneliness The art of grit Persistence and passion CHAPTER 5 RESILIENCE AND RESOLUTION FINDING SUPPORT AND BUILDING STRENGTH I don’t feel well The physical symptoms of stress Big bad wolf Overcoming an abusive childhood Taking care Mental illness facts and fiction Under a gray cloud Low mood and depression Managing fears Four anxiety disorders Lifeboat ahoy Could a therapist help? Holding steady Living a resilient life Sources and bibliography Acknowledgments Copyright A FOREWORD ge, race, gender, money—nothing can shield us from having to face stressful situations that might feel difficult, even impossible, to overcome. Nor should they, because stress is an essential part of life. Any experience or situation that makes you feel threatened or overwhelmed is a “stressor.” Good stress helps you to focus on your goals and complete important tasks. Without stress, we would fail to achieve our greatest accomplishments, because the ones we value most are usually stressful and require a great deal of effort. Bad stress isn't productive and can halt your advancement and dampen your spirits. This book will help you master life's stressors, good or bad, with greater ease—not by eliminating stress, but by building on your strengths and encouraging the development of new coping skills. The five chapters that follow are based on a careful review of the most recent and important scientific research, which has been translated to be relevant and helpful for anyone who wants to feel better able to manage their stress. When you’re trying to overcome life’s challenges, particularly the more stressful or unpleasant ones, understanding how your body and your brain react, and how you can influence that reaction, can help you to feel a greater sense of control. Chapter 1 focuses on just that, by defining stress and explaining how your body reacts physically and emotionally to scary situations. These pages will help you determine why you feel stressed, which is the first step toward taking control. We all have our own ways of dealing with stress, but there are some simple yet powerful proven coping techniques—and by understanding their pros and cons, you will be able to choose the strategy that's right for you. How you manage stress must work for you, so that you can develop a realistic, practical plan that fits your own needs. In Chapter 2, you'll see that you are not alone in feeling stressed when you're coping with the ongoing pressures of day-to-day life. It can sometimes feel like we're juggling many balls and struggling to keep them all in the air. Whether that's in our work or home life, all of us can feel under pressure sometimes, but there are many useful approaches to dealing with stress that can help us lead a more peaceful life, even during busy times and in stressful situations. We also face the stress of difficult, even life-altering events at some point, such as caring for a loved one during illness, dealing with a painful loss, or living through a difficult divorce. In Chapter 3, you’ll learn that feeling overwhelmed, sad, or frightened is a completely normal reaction to major stress, but it is possible to learn skills that will help you to endure and build strength as you weather the storms. Chapter 4 is all about de-stressing your life, with a review of how to manage your stress in the long term. Close friends, pets, or activities you might turn to when you need to feel calm and comforted—all these and more have science to back up their powerful stress-relieving properties. Finally, Chapter 5 discusses the importance of knowing when stress has become so serious that you need to ask for help. While this book aims to help you manage your stress before you're feeling completely overwhelmed, it's good to know there is help available and that you are not alone. Most importantly, this book is about building resilience—the ability to bounce back after a very stressful period. If you think of resilience as being your “emotional muscles,” you might feel that those are a little weak right now. The stress management tools you will learn about in this book will help you to build those muscles by using your existing strengths and further develop them to become a more powerful resource, so in the future when stress happens—and it will—you’ll be able to recover rapidly and without lasting harm. Some people are naturally more resilient than others, but these are skills that anyone can learn throughout life. While we are both clinicians and educators with many years of experience, we never stop learning, especially from our clients. We share these lessons throughout this book because they are key foundations of happiness. This Diane McIntosh, MD, FRCPC Jonathan Horowitz, PhD throughout this book because they are key foundations of happiness. This book is not about living a stress-free life; it’s about living a happier life because you are better equipped to manage your stress. P Stress feels uncomfortable, but not every uncomfortable feeling is stress—and being confused about what you feel is stressful in itself. Let’s begin by gaining some clarity in understanding our own emotions. eople use the word “stress” interchangeably with other terms such as worry, anxiety, and fear, but stress is, at its heart, our conviction that we won’t be able to cope with the challenges we’re facing. It’s always easier to deal with difficult emotions if we understand them better. Stress can provoke fear, anxiety, and worry but each represents a different emotional reaction. By appreciating the differences and the relationships between these emotions, we can put our problems in perspective. Is worry the same as stress? Put simply, worry is an attempt to avoid unpleasant consequences by adopting repetitive thought patterns—for example, “What if” questions such as “What if I get sick? What if I lose my job?”—which we describe with words such as “fretting” and “brooding.” We don’t need or want those thoughts to pop into our minds over and over, but it can be hard to stop them. It might feel like worrying or “thinking about” our problems is helpful, but that is not the same as “thinking through” our problems—in other words, confronting a situation and trying to address it. By actively problem-solving, we gain a greater sense of control. Fear and anxiety Where worry is a mental habit, fear is an instinctive reaction—usually in the face of a perceived threat. Fear is a survival trait, and there are good evolutionary reasons why we’re capable of feeling it. Our reactions to fear are grouped into four categories: Escape (flight) or avoidance (preflight). We run away from a threat if we can. Aggressive defense (the “fight” part of “fight or flight”). If we can’t escape or we don’t stand a good chance of victory, we may attack. Freezing/immobility. A valuable reaction if we’re trying to hide, or if we don’t want to antagonize someone who is unpredictable. Submission/appeasement. When the threat comes from within our own “herd,” the best option is sometimes to suppress our anger to avoid being rejected. If fear is a normal reaction to a scary event, what is anxiety? When fear becomes excessive or unwarranted and starts to affect our quality of life and prevents us from doing what we need or want to do, it is best
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