She Bets Her Life: A True Story of Gambling Addiction

227 Pages·2010·0.96 MB·English

by  Mary Sojourner

Table of Contents

Title Page
Dedication
Praise
USER’S GUIDE
Introduction

MEET THE SISTERS

CROSSING THE LINE - HOW A WOMAN KNOWS SHE’S HOOKED

DOPAMINE IS QUEEN - GAMBLING AND THE BRAIN
QUEEN DOPAMINE
THE SISTERS CHECK IN

FREUD WAS WRONG - PSYCHODYNAMICS OF GAMBLING
ADDICTION

GIRLS’ NIGHT IN - GENDER AND WOMEN’S GAMBLING ADDICTION

GET HER TO SIT DOWN - THE INDUSTRY’S STRATEGIES TO KEEP
WOMEN PLAYING

THE PARTY’S OVER - WHEN IT’S TIME TO STOP

A LONG AND WINDING ROAD - WITHDRAWAL

WHAT IT TAKES - THE REALITY OF RECOVERING

THE SLIP - WHY SHE GOES BACK OUT

IT’S A FAMILY AFFAIR
DROWN SHE ROAD

RESOURCES
WORKS CITED
GRATITUDE
CREDITS
ABOUT THE AUTHOR
SELECTED TITLES FROM SEAL PRESS
Copyright Page

For the Scheherazade’s Sisters,
for the women who have not been
able to stop gambling,
for the women who have.
If I had one wish for women who have mortgaged their souls and traded their power for the illusion
of “the big win,” it would be for them to find just one person who will tell them, “Gambling is
something you do, it is not who you are. You are not a worthless piece of shit; you are a person who—
because you have a deadly, vicious, and aggressive disease—has made some really bad choices, and
with encouragement and support, you can learn how to make different choices that will give you back
your life.
—Carole Seeley, Gambling Addictions Counselor
USER’S GUIDE
If you’ve opened this book, chances are you or someone you know may be a
woman trapped in compulsive gambling—blackjack, poker, bingo, slot
machines, keno, lottery tickets, craps, online gambling sites, even the stock
market, or what was once a relaxing game of Bunco. And you may be seeking
relief.
Welcome to my world. I have been, and I will always be, a woman one bet
away from being imprisoned by a slot machine. I structured this book so a
woman, her family, her partner, and her friends can easily find those sections that
will be most useful.
If I’d come across this book when I was finally accepting that my gambling
addiction had ravaged me, I’d have been most eager to find out that I was not
alone. And I’d want hope. I played slot machines for fourteen years, the last nine
years compulsively. By the time I quit, my life and nervous system were in ruins.
So, I’d have gone to the Introduction, then Chapter 1: “Meet the Sisters,” then
Chapter 8: “A Long and Winding Road,” about withdrawal.
Perhaps, unlike me, you suspect you have a problem, but you’re not sure. Take
a look at Chapter 2: “Crossing the Line.” If you do know and are terrified by
what you know, you might jump straight to Chapter 7: “The Party’s Over,”
where you will read about how and when other women gamblers learned they
had to stop. In Chapter 8: “A Long and Winding Road,” you’ll learn about the
multitude of symptoms of both early and postacute withdrawal syndrome.
Chapter 9: “What It Takes” walks you through the resources and work of
recovering with, as opposed to from, gambling addiction.
Chapter 3: “Dopamine Is Queen” is about the basics of this addiction at the
level of brain chemistry and function. Chapter 4: “Freud Was Wrong” debunks
early theories of gambling compulsion and sheds light on more useful and
practical contemporary research and theory. Chapter 5: “Girls’ Night In” brings
you into a circle of recovering women gamblers as they talk about how being
women impacted their gambling addiction.
Chapter 6: “Get Her to Sit Down” exposes the powerful strategies the
gambling industry creates to hook compulsive gamblers and keep them playing
—in the industry’s words—“to extinction.”
If you have already quit and are facing life without your favorite drug, read
Chapter 8: “A Long and Winding Road” for the lowdown—the low lowdown—
on withdrawal. You will learn that you have not gone crazy; you are just in the
grips of a brain that longs to gamble.
Chapter 10: “The Slip” explores the reasons a woman recovering gambling
addict goes back to her drug and offers strategies to prevent and interrupt a slip.
Desperate? Go directly to Chapter 9: “What It Takes.” In withdrawal or in the
grips of binge gambling? Go to Chapter 8: “A Long and Winding Road.” You
might read Chapter 3: “Dopamine Is Queen” and learn that you are not immoral,
weak, or doomed. In Chapter 6: “Get Her to Sit Down,” you can read about the
exquisite strategies the gambling industry brings to play on a compulsive
player’s brain and body and know that you had help in crossing the line from fun
to torment.
Bored cross-eyed by statistics? Read Chapters 2, 4, or 5 for stories from real
women compulsive gamblers talking to save their lives, or Chapter 12: “Down
the Road,” in which you’ll find the stories of women who live in gambling
recovery on a daily basis.
Finally, if you are free from gambling compulsion but love a woman who is
trapped, Chapter 11: “It’s a Family Affair” may provide hope and the knowledge
that you are not alone.

The life of a woman compulsive gambler is not a straight line, though in the
worst moments of feeling trapped she may feel as though she is in a dark and
endless tunnel. Life is a series of winding paths, delays, and loops. And this is
where She Bets Her Life starts.
If you start with the Introduction, you might find yourself looking in a mirror
—a mirror in which not one, but many women’s faces are reflected. Some faces
will be familiar, others will not. In Chapter 1, those faces might come into focus.
You’ll find yourself in a unique circle, a women’s group of compulsive gamblers
who no longer make that first bet. They are Scheherazade’s Sisters. They do not