Secrets and Science of Body Language at Work

213 Pages·2013·4.54 MB·English

Praise for The Nonverbal Advantage
“Given today’s technology-driven communication systems, people have
fewer face-to-face interactions. As a result, it is crucial to maximize
their impact. Dr. Goman provides a valuable guide for doing just that
by helping the reader understand how the nonverbal aspects of a
conversation often say much more than the verbal ones.”
—Jon Peters, President, The Institute for Management Studies
“The Nonverbal Advantage takes a fresh look at body language as an
essential executive management skill. This is a must-read for anyone
who is responsible for negotiating or facilitating change in their
professional association.”
—Alan Sauer, CAE, IOM, Fellow, American Society of Association
Executives, and former Chair of the Board of Trustees, U.S.
Chamber of Commerce Institute for Organization Management
“This book happens to hit on one of my hot buttons. I have made
numerous speeches on communication, which I consider the common
denominator of success or failure. Invariably, people do not refl ect on
body language as a means of communication until you bring it to their
attention. The Nonverbal Advantage should be a great success!”
—Charles A. Lynch, Chair, Market Value Partners Company
“Face-to-face communication takes on a new meaning in this
much-needed and detailed treatise on nonverbal communication.
Understanding how humans give silent clues—with eyes, hands,
posture, and even feet—helps us become better speakers and
better listeners.
—Wilma Mathews, ABC, IABC Fellow, Faculty Associate,
Walter Cronkite School of Journalism and Mass
Communication, and Communication Consultant
“Carol Kinsey Goman shows you how to use body language skills to
build stronger professional relationships. The Nonverbal Advantage
is a must-read for anyone wanting to move ahead and stand out
from the crowd.”
—Robert L. Dilenschneider, Founder and Principal,
The Dilenschneider Group, and author of
Power and Infl uence: The Rules Have Changed
“In my global business dealings, I’ve seen negotiations fall apart when
people gave the wrong signals and didn’t respect cultural differences.
The Nonverbal Advantage should be required reading for anyone in
sales or negotiations—especially if they work internationally.”
—Kimberly Benson, Vice President, Cange International, Inc.
“In a brave new world brimming with discovery and invention, we must
remember to update our existing human-insights skill set. Now is the
time to renew your toolbox by including knowledge of the nonverbal
cues that will take center stage in business and in life. Carol Kinsey
Goman’s book is a timely read indeed.”
—Watts Wacker, futurist and coauthor of What’s Your Story?
Storytelling to Move Markets, Audiences, People, and Brands
“The Nonverbal Advantage is a fresh look at employee communication
management and the more subtle, but nevertheless important, cues
of body language. Goman’s analysis of interpersonal communication
techniques, signals, and behaviors suggests that nonverbal signals are
more important in understanding human behavior than words alone—
the nonverbal ‘channels’ seem to be more powerful than what people
say. She is pointing the way for managers at all levels.”
—Deborah Radman, APR, Fellow PRSA,
Senior Vice President/Director, CKPR
“In the second half of my thirty-three-year career in law enforcement,
my interview ability and success took a defi nite upswing after taking
training that addressed not only verbal deception but also nonverbal
behavior. Carol’s book takes many of the things I learned about body
language and puts them in a form that any manager or business
professional can use.”
—Robert Baker, retired San Diego County District Attorney
Investigator and San Diego County Sheriff Detective
The Nonverbal
Advantage
The Nonverbal
Advantage
Secrets and Science of
Body Language at Work
Carol Kinsey Goman
The Nonverbal Advantage
Copyright © 2008 by Carol Kinsey Goman
All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, distributed, or trans-
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publisher, addressed “Attention: Permissions Coordinator,” at the address below.
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First Edition
Paperback print edition ISBN 978-1-57675-492-4
PDF e-book ISBN 978-1-57675-774-1
2008-1
Interior design and composition by Gary Palmatier, Ideas to Images.
Elizabeth von Radics, copyeditor; Mike Mollett, proofreader; Medea Minnich, indexer.
Cover design by PemaStudio.
Dedication
To Skip because I love him,
to Joyce because she’s always in my corner,
and to Toni because she’s my best friend and favorite sister
Contents
Introduction 1
Chapter 1: The Five C’s of Body Language 11
Chapter 2: Reading the Whole Body 21
Chapter 3: The Eyes Have It 41
Chapter 4: Face to Face 59
Chapter 5: Talking with Your Hands 83
Chapter 6: Feet First 105
Chapter 7: You’re in My Space 117
Chapter 8: The Power of Touch 131
Chapter 9: Translating Body Language
across Cultures 143
Chapter 10: Selling Your Message
without Saying a Word 159
Acknowledgments 183
Index 185
About the Author 201
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The most important thing in communication
is hearing what isn’t said.
—Peter F. Drucker
Introduction
H
AVE YOU EVER WONDERED...
What kind of impression am I making?
Should I believe what my boss told me?
Am I dealing with a potential buyer, or am I just wasting
my time?
Did my whole team understand what I said?
What did the customer mean by that?
How do I know if he really supports my idea?
Is the audience angry, frustrated, interested, or bored?
The answers to such questions are right before your eyes.
That’s because people in professional settings are constantly
telling each other exactly what they think and feel—and it
often has nothing to do with the words they speak. Your
boss may say that you’ll be considered for a promotion, but
if she’s leaning back with crossed arms and a forced smile,
she’s sending the opposite message. The customer may say
he’s not interested in buying that new car, but if he keeps
glancing at the contract on the table, he’s telling you that he
is interested.
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