Middle School and the Age of Adjustment: A Guide for Parents

313 Pages·2002·1.05 MB·English

by  Eileen Bernstein

Cover

Middle School and the Age of Adjustment :
title:
A Guide for Parents
author: Bernstein, Eileen.
publisher: Greenwood Publishing Group
isbn10 | asin: 0897899067
print isbn13: 9780897899062
ebook isbn13: 9780313013928
language: English
Middle school education--Parent
participation--Handbooks, manuals, etc,
subject
Adolescent psychology--Handbooks,
manuals, etc.
publication date: 2002
lcc: LB1623.B48 2002eb
ddc: 373.236
Middle school education--Parent
participation--Handbooks, manuals, etc,
subject:
Adolescent psychology--Handbooks,
manuals, etc.
Page i
Middle School and the Age of Adjustment
Page ii
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Page iii
Middle School and the Age of Adjustment
A Guide for Parents
Eileen Bernstein
BERGIN & GARVEY
Westport, Connecticut • London
Page iv
Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data
Bernstein, Eileen, 1941–
Middle school and the age of adjustment : a guide for parents / Eileen
Bernstein.
p. cm.
Includes bibliographical references and index.
ISBN 0–89789–906–7 (alk. paper)
1. Middle school education—Parent participation—Handbooks, manuals,
etc. 2.
Adolescent psychology—Handbooks, manuals, etc. I. Title.
LB1623.B48 2002
373.236—dc21 2002018212
British Library Cataloguing in Publication Data is available.
Copyright © 2002 by Eileen Bernstein All rights reserved. No portion of
this book may be
reproduced, by any process or technique, without the
express written consent of the publisher.
Library of Congress Catalog Card Number: 2002018212
ISBN: 0-89789-906-7
First published in 2002
Bergin & Garvey, 88 Post Road West, Westport, CT 06881
An imprint of Greenwood Publishing Group, Inc.
www.greenwood.com Printed in the United States of America
The paper used in this book complies with the
Permanent Paper Standard issued by the National
Information Standards Organization (Z39.48–1984).
10 9 8 7 6 5 4 3 2 1
Page v
Contents
Introduction 1

1. Who Is a Middle School Child? 5

2. Adjustment to Sixth Grade 13

3. Boys’ Challenges 17

4. Girls’ Challenges 23

5. The Power of the Peer Group: Clothes, Bullies, Drugs 29

6. School Achievement 35

7. How to Communicate with Teachers 47

8. Outside Interests and Positive Identity 51

9. The Sexual Messages in Our Society 55

10. Effective Communication 59

11. Boundaries, Limits, Expectations, and Consequences 67

12. Development and the Passage of Time 73

13. Special Needs Children 77

14. Sibling Conflict 83

15. Violence in Schools 87
Page vi
Entertain Me Now!
16. 91
More about Sex
17. 97
You Are a Parent, Not a Friend
18. 103
Can Middle School Students Be Stressed?
19. 109
Accepting Your Child
20. 115
Reflections of Ninth Graders about Middle School
21. 121
The Effects of Divorce on Middle School Children
22. 125
Stepparenting Can Work—Or It Can Be a Disaster
23. 129
The Importance of Early and Continuous Career Exploration
24. 135
After Middle School—High School Is Different
25. 141
Resilience
26. 145
The Power of Family Love
27. 149
Bibliography 153

Resources for Parents and Young Adolescents 155

Index 161
Page 1
Introduction
Sex. Drugs. Puberty. Algebra. These are just a few of the problems that
parents have to worry about when their eleven-year-old walks through
the doors of middle school. The eleven-year-old, meanwhile, has to be
brave in a scary new world filled with constant change that creates self-
doubt and emotional turmoil. The child has just come from fifth grade,
king or queen of the hill, in a warm, sheltered environment. Now, in
middle school, these new sixth graders are peewees on a school bus,
sitting with teenage boys who may be shaving already and girls with well-
developed bodies. The teenagers tell the sixth graders where to sit, and
there is no choice because the older children are bigger and stronger.
I am a middle school counselor, and I have been helping these children
make their way through this difficult emotional minefield. I have written
this book for parents to describe this rapidly changing time and give
advice to help in their child’s adjustment. As a counselor and teacher for
nearly thirty years, I have watched class after class of middle schoolers
experience this very difficult period in their lives. Changes in our society
have deeply affected these young adolescent boys and girls.
School buildings and their occupants have changed dramatically over the
last half-century. In the 1940s and ’50s, elementary schools were
comprised of grades K–8, and children walked home for lunch. As the
population grew in the country, junior highs for grades 7–9 were
developed because elementary schools began to bulge at the seams. But
a problem developed in the new junior highs: ninth graders did not take
their grades seriously because they were still in junior high. This lack of
ac-
Page 2
ademic seriousness can impact the overall grade point average, affecting
college choice. In addition, high schools offer sports and other activities,
which also enhance college entrance possibilities and could lead to
scholarships. It is much better for high schools to include grades 9–12, so
that students can be more serious about how their education affects their
future educational choices.
Thus, high schools became grades 9–12, and many communities
developed the intermediate school, which includes seventh and eighth
grade, although some communities still had junior high schools. As the
school age population mushroomed, the middle school, comprised of
grades 6–8, was created. Now, sixth grade, which was formerly in
elementary school, is combined with the seventh and eighth grades, a
time when hormones quickly develop. Currently, this trend is growing. In
the past few years, however, middle schools have come to be thought of
as a middle child: difficult to understand, in need of attention (but what
kinds of attention?), and extremely variable in behavior.
With the recent advent of terrible acts of violence in high schools and
middle schools, it is important to understand who the middle school child
is. Much has been written about adolescence, the journey from childhood
to adulthood. But middle school children are young adolescents when
they enter in sixth grade and full-blown adolescents when they leave in
eighth grade. It is in middle school that social problems and painful
rejection can occur. This can lead to the feeling of alienation that some
high school children have felt when they have brought guns to school and
killed their classmates.
The purpose of this book is to help parents understand the middle school
child as he or she is growing up in a technological, media-obsessed,
lack-of-extended-family society. Middle school children are at great risk
today because they have unmonitored time to experiment with drugs and
sex. However, whether you are a single parent or living in an intact
marriage, you can have tremendous influence in guiding children
successfully through these difficult and complex middle school years.