Dying a transition Monika Renz Translated by Mark Kyburz with John Peck DYING END-OF-LIFE CARE: A SERIES END-OF-LIFE CARE: A SERIES Series editor: Keith Anderson We all confront end-of-life issues. As people live longer and suffer from more chronic illnesses, all of us face difficult decisions about death, dying, and terminal care. This series aspires to articulate the issues surrounding end- of-life care in the twenty-first century. It will be a resource for practitioners and scholars who seek information about advance directives, hospice, pallia- tive care, bereavement, and other death-related topics. The interdisciplinary approach makes the series invaluable for social workers, physicians, nurses, attorneys, and pastoral counselors. The press seeks manuscripts that reflect the interdisciplinary, biopsychosocial essence of end-of-life care. We welcome manuscripts that address specific topics on ethical dilemmas in end-of-life care, death, and dying among mar- ginalized groups; palliative care; spirituality; and end-of-life care in special medical areas, such as oncology, AIDS, diabetes, and transplantation. While writers should integrate theory and practice, the series is open to diverse methodologies and perspectives. Manuscript submissions should be sent to series editor Keith Anderson at [email protected]. Joan Berzoff and Phyllis R. Silverman, Living with Dying: A Handbook for End-of-Life Healthcare Practitioners Virginia E. Richardson and Amanda S. Barusch, Gerontological Practice for the Twenty-first Century: A Social Work Perspective Ruth Ray, Endnotes: An Intimate Look at the End of Life Terry Wolfer and Vicki Runnion, eds., Dying, Death, and Bereavement in Social Work Practice: Decision Cases for Advanced Practice Mercedes Bern-Klug, ed., Transforming End-of-Life Care in the Nursing Home: The Social Work Role Dona J. Reese, Hospice Social Work Allan Kellehear, The Inner Life of the Dying Person DY ING A TRANSITION MONIKA RENZ TRANSLATED BY MARK KYBURZ WITH JOHN PECK Columbia University Press New York Columbia University Press Publishers Since 1893 New York Chichester, West Sussex cup.columbia.edu Originally published as Hinübergehen: Was beim Sterben geschieht © (2011) 2015 Kreuz Verlag Translation copyright © 2015 Columbia University Press All rights reserved Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data Renz, Monika, 1961– , auhor. [Hinübergehen. English] Dying : a transition / Monika Renz ; translated by Mark Kyburz with John Peck. p. ; cm. — (End-of-life care : a series) Translation from German. Translation of: Hinübergehen : was beim Sterben geschieht. 2014. Includes bibliographical references and index. ISBN 978-0-231-17088-8 (cloth : alk. paper) ISBN 978-0-231-54023-0 (e-book) I. Title. II. Series: End-of-life care. [DNLM: 1. Attitude to Death. 2. Terminally Ill—psychology. 3. Adaptation, Psychological. 4. Palliative Care—psychology. 5. Terminal Care—psychology. BF 789.D4] R726.8 616.02'9—dc23 2015008493 Columbia University Press books are printed on permanent and durable acid-free paper. This book is printed on paper with recycled content. Printed in the United States of America c 10 9 8 7 6 5 4 3 2 1 cover image: © Borut Trdina/Getty Images cover design: Diane Luger References to websites (URLs) were accurate at the time of writing. Neither the author nor Columbia University Press is responsible for URLs that may have expired or changed since the manuscript was prepared. CONTENTS Acknowledgments vii Introduction: In Search of Inner Experiences of Dying 1 1 Dying and the Transformation of Perception 17 2 The Three Stages of Transition and Dignity 23 3 What Is Primordial Fear? “The ‘I’ Dies into a ‘Thou’ ” 47 4 Other Hearing: Beyond Space and Time 63 5 Metaphors of Transition 70 6 The Sites of Transition: Fear, Struggle, Acceptance, Family Processes, Maturation 83 7 Dying with Dignity: Indication-Oriented End-of-Life Care 107 Epilogue 129 Appendix 131 Notes 137 References 141 Index 149 ACKNOWLEDGMENTS I AM DEEPLY GRATEFUL to everyone who has assisted me in bringing to publication the English edition of this book. My warm thanks to Dr. Keith Anderson, whose enthu- siastic response to “Dying Is a Transition” (American Journal of Hospice and Palliative Medicine 30 [3]: 283–290) made this book possible in the first place. I owe many thanks to Columbia Uni- versity Press, especially to my translators, Dr. Mark Kyburz and Dr. John Peck; to Dr. Rudolf Walter, the editor of the original German edition of this book (Hinübergehen [Freiburg: Kreuz Verlag, 2011, 2015]); and to Dr. Miriam Schütt Mao, my research assistant, who supported and encouraged me time and again. I am most grateful to the following medical staff for their outstanding cooperation in the service of the patients in our care: Dr. Thomas Cerny, Department of Oncology, St. Gallen Cantonal Hospital; the palliative care physicians Drs. Florian Strasser and Daniel Büche; my fellow psychotherapist Michael Peus; and the palliative care teams St. Gallen and Münsterlingen. I am indebted to the following individuals: Dr. Gisela Leyting, a practicing supervisor, psychiatrist, and psychoanalyst; Dr. Ursula Renz, Department of Philosophy, Klagenfurt University; Dr. Roman Siebenrock, viii 4 acknowledgments Department of Theology, Innsbruck University; and Dr. Pim van Lommel, The Netherlands. I also extend my sincere thanks to my former teachers and colleagues, who were always prepared to discuss delicate questions in the areas of psychology and psy- chotherapy, theology, and spirituality. I owe special thanks to the many patients and relatives who shared their experiences with me. I wish to thank my family, my parents, my brothers and sisters. I would like to mention especially my mother for her critical comments and her unfailing support. My most personal heartfelt thanks go to my husband, Jürg! DYING