Discovering My Autism: Apologia Pro Vita Sua (With Apologies to Cardinal Newman) PDF
Preview Discovering My Autism: Apologia Pro Vita Sua (With Apologies to Cardinal Newman)
Discovering My Autism ofrelatedinterest Asperger’sSyndrome AGuideforParentsandProfessionals TonyAttwood ISBN1853025771 ThroughtheEyesofAliens ABookaboutAutisticPeople JasmineLeeO’Neill ISBN1853027103 Autism:AnInside-OutApproach AnInnovativeLookattheMechanicsof‘Autism’ anditsDevelopmental‘Cousins’ DonnaWilliams ISBN1853023876 AutismandSensing TheUnlostInstinct DonnaWilliams ISBN1853026123 ChildrenwithAutism,SecondEdition DiagnosisandInterventionstoMeetTheirNeeds ColwynTrevarthen,KennethAitken,DespinaPapoudiandJacquelineRobarts ISBN1853025550 TheADHDHandbook AGuideforParentsandProfessionals AlisonMundenandJonArcelus ISBN1853027561 FromThoughtstoObsessions ObsessiveCompulsiveDisorderinChildrenandAdolescents PerHoveThomsen ISBN1853027219 Discovering My Autism Apologia Pro Vita Sua (with Apologies to Cardinal Newman) Edgar Schneider Jessica Kingsley Publishers London and Philadelphia Allrightsreserved.Nopartofthispublicationmaybereproducedinanymaterialform(including photocopyingorstoringitinanymediumbyelectronicmeansandwhetherornottransientlyor incidentallytosomeotheruseofthispublication)withoutthewrittenpermissionofthecopyright ownerexceptinaccordancewiththeprovisionsoftheCopyright,DesignsandPatentsAct1988 orunderthetermsofalicenceissuedbytheCopyrightLicensingAgencyLtd,90Tottenham CourtRoad,London,EnglandW1T4LP.Applicationsforthecopyrightowner’swrittenpermis- siontoreproduceanypartofthispublicationshouldbeaddressedtothepublisher. Warning:Thedoingofanunauthorisedactinrelationtoacopyrightworkmayresultinbotha civilclaimfordamagesandcriminalprosecution. TherightofEdgarR.G.Schneidertobeidentifiedasauthorofthisworkhasbeenassertedby himinaccordancewiththeCopyright,DesignsandPatentsAct1988. FirstpublishedintheUnitedKingdomin1999by JessicaKingsleyPublishers 116PentonvilleRoad LondonN19JB,UK and 400MarketStreet,Suite400 PhiladelphiaPA19106,USA www.jkp.com Copyright©1999EdgarR.G.Schneider Printeddigitallyfrom2003 LibraryofCongressCataloginginPublicationData Schneider,Edgar,1932– Discoveringmyautism:apologiaprovitasua(withapologiestoCardinalNewman)/ EdgarSchneider. p. cm. ISBN1-85302-724-3(pbk.:alk.paper) 1.Schneider,Edgar,1932– . 2.Autism--Patients--Biography. I.Title. RC553.A88S36 1999 616.89’82’0092--dc21 [B] 98-42738 CIP BritishLibraryCataloguinginPublicationData Schneider,Edgar Discoveringmyautism:apologiaprovitasua(withapologiestoCardinalNewman) 1.Schneider,Edgar2.Autism–Patients–Biography 3.Attention-deficit-disorderedadults–Biography I.Titles 616.8’982’0092 ISBN-13:9781853027246 ISBN-10:1853027243 PrintedandboundinGreatBritainby MarstonLindsayRossInternationalLtd, Oxfordshire Contents Prologue 9 The Determining Time Period 11 Aftermath 15 Resolution, of a Sort 18 Suspicions 19 A Revelation 22 Recap of a Terrible Period 23 Correlating my Past Life 25 An Interesting Aside 29 My Tastes 31 What I Mean by the Word ‘Love’ 43 A Missing Faculty 46 Two Perilous Characteristics 48 Can ‘Heartless’ Pity be Real? 49 Grief 51 Death and the Afterlife 53 Solitude and Loneliness 57 Learning 58 Values that were Manifested During Military Service 61 Interactions with Others 63 Art as an Early Outlet 68 Religion 70 Disclaimers About Religion 74 A Perhaps Dangerous Characteristic 78 The Upshot of this Self-Discovery 79 Is a Future Close Relationship Possible? 82 Waxing Philosophical About ‘Love’ Among the Non-Autistic 90 The Emotional Deficit 94 Self-Compensating? 101 Our Own Country 106 Retrospect 114 What I Have Tried to do Here 116 Conclusion 118 Epilogue 119 To Father Neil Doherty, who was instrumental in getting me to write this story; to Jan Cook, my very good friend who was instrumental in my getting involved with autism advocacy; and to Rosalyn Lord, who was instrumental in getting my story published Prologue The poet Alexander Pope, in An Essay on Man, offered this admonition: ‘Knowthenthyself,presumenotGodtoscan.’Indeed,Thales,considered to be the founder of Greek philosophy and mathematics, believed that knowing oneself was the most difficult thing to learn. The first half of whatPopewroteisundeniablyexcellentadvice.Thequestionis:howto doit? Introspectionisgenerallynotreliable,becauseanyimagethatwehave ofourselveshasgottobe,byitsverynature,self-serving.Welookinthe mirrorandseeacertainpicture.Theoneonthedriver’slicencemayvery wellbeclosertothemark.Theviewsofourfriendsandacquaintancesmay notbereliableeitherbecausetheyarecoloredbyanopinionofusacquired overtime. On the other hand, for those of us who are fortunate to have this happen,somethingwillcomeintoourlivesfromasourcethathasnoaxe togrindonewayoranother,andtowhichwecanrelatewhatwedoknow tobefactual.Suchanexperiencehappenedtomerecently,andgaveme insightsintowhyIdowhatIdo,whyIthinkandbelieveasIdo,andwhyI interactwithothersasIdo,notonlynowbutalsoforallofmypastlife.It explained so many things about me that had previously been enigmas, eventomyself. Idiscussedallofthiswiththepastorofmychurch.Hesuggestedtome, afterhearingthisstory,thatIwriteit.Ihavedonejustthat,notonlyfor thosewhomightliketoknowmebetter,butalsoascatharsisformyself. I should like to start with a past incident that could be said to have marked the onset of this process of self-revelation. It took place at that timeatwhichtheclassicalepicpoemsbegantheirstories:the‘middleof things’. 9
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