Alone in a Crowd: A Phenomenological Inquiry into Loneliness as Experienced by Pastors' Wives

141 Pages·2007·0.59 MB·English

by  Jama L. Davis

ALONE IN A CROWD: A PHENOMOENOLOGICAL INQUIRY
INTO LONELINESS AS EXPERIENCED BY PASTOR’S WIVES
by
Jama L. Davis
Liberty University Doctoral Student

A Dissertation Presented in Partial Fulfillment
Of the Requirements for the Degree
Doctor of Philosophy

Liberty University
May 2007
© Jama L. Davis, May 2007
All Rights Reserved
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ALONE IN A CROWD: A PHENOMOENOLOGICAL INQUIRY
INTO LONELINESS AS EXPERIENCED BY PASTOR’S WIVES
by
Jama L. Davis
Liberty University Doctoral Student
Has been approved
May 2007

APPROVED:
FRED MILACCI, D.Ed., Faculty Chair
KEN REEVES, Ed.D., Committee Member
LORI HOFFEDITZ, Ph.D., Committee Member
ACCEPTED AND SIGNED:

FRED MILACCI, D.Ed.

KEN REEVES, Ed.D.

LORI HOFFEDITZ, Ph.D
iii
ABSTRACT
ALONE IN ACROWD: APHENOMENOLOGICALINQUIRY INTO LONELINESS
AS EXPERIENCED BY PASTORS’WIVES
byJama L.Davis
This phenomenological studyinvestigatedtheindividual experiences of eight
pastors’wives withthephenomenon,loneliness. Thetopicofloneliness generated
emotionallycharged responses from womenwholivetheirlives inthepubliceye.
Datawas collectedusinginformal,conversational, tapedandtranscribed
interviews. Descriptions oftheexperiences ofloneliness andthe general factors
contributingtoloneliness wereidentifiedbytheparticipants. Theexperiences and
general contributingfactors werecomparedand contrasted.
Participants identifiedloneliness as anindescribablevoid,resultingfrom
guardedness, andanormal experience. General factors contributingtoloneliness were
identifiedas explicit orimplicit. Explicit factors,thosedirectlyrelatedtoministry,
developedwithintheministrycontext itselfandministry-relatedinteractions and
relationships. Theimplicit factors includednon-ministryrelatedinteractions, familyand
timeconcerns, andphysical limitations oftheparticipants.
Thefindings ofthis studysuggest threefactors whichmost significantlyimpact
pastors’wives andloneliness: theroles ofpastors’wives,thepersonal choices ofthe
pastors’wives,andthepastors’wives relationships withGod. Implications emerged
from thestudyforthose whoresearchpastors’wives andloneliness,theindividual
churches whichemploypastors, thecolleges and seminaries whichtrainpastors, andthe
denominations towhichpastors report. Suggestions forfuture researchinvolving
pastors’wives andpastors areprovided.
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AKNOWLEDGEMENTS
Mycompletingthis studywouldnot havebeenpossiblewithout theconsistent
encouragement andsupport from myhusbandand best friend,Randy. When Iquestioned
thevalueofcompletingthis studyandtheeducational process,hestoodbesideme,
unwaveringinhis faithandbeliefinmeandthepassionGodhas plantedwithinme.
Randymademanymore sacrifices than Iam awareoftoallowmetocompletethis
research,leavingmeabsent ofwords tofullyexpress mylove and gratitude forhim. I
lookforwardto achange inroles withRandyas hepursues his doctorate.
Mychildren, Ian andAmanda,haveprovidedsupport andencouragement in
ways muchbeyondtheir teenage years. Theirpatiencewithmyeducational process and
theencouragement theyofferedmehavebeenincredibleexamples ofunderstandingand
maturity. Ifeel privilegedandblessedtobetheir mother. Ilookforwardtoassistingand
supportingthem intheir endeavors, wherever Godmaylead.
Myfamilyand friends haveprovidedunwaveringsupport andprayers. Their
continuedprayers andsupport havebeenmoremeaningful than Icanexpress. My
current church familyhas providedunderstanding,prayers, andencouragement beyond
compare. Thank youfor allowingmetocomplete this educational process with yourfull
support.
Ioffermysincere gratitudetodissertationcommitteemembers Dr.KenReeves
andDr. Lori Hoffeditz fortheir guidanceandfriendship. Special thanks toDr.Fred
Milacci,mycommitteechair,forhis guidance,challenge,patience,forthrightness,and
friendshipinthis process. Totheparticipants, thank youfor yourtime,transparencyand
honesty. You wereinspiring.
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TABLEOFCONTENTS
Page
AKNOWLEDGEMENTS....................................................................................................v
CHAPTER I: INTRODUCTION…………………………………………………….........1
Problem Background………………………………………………………...............1
PurposeoftheStudy....................................................................................................2
Research Questions.....................................................................................................2
Definitions...................................................................................................................3
LocatingMyselfas aResearcher.................................................................................4
CHAPTER II: REVIEW OF LITERATURE......................................................................8
Loneliness....................................................................................................................9
Descriptions of Loneliness…………………………………………………......9
Impact of Loneliness…………………………………………………………..12
Studies inLoneliness………………………………………………………….14
Pastors’Wives...........................................................................................................17
AProfileofaPastor’s Wife…………………………………………………...17
Loneliness Dynamics inthe Lives ofPastors’Wives...............................................24
Summary....................................................................................................................33
CHAPTER III: METHOD.................................................................................................36
Research Design........................................................................................................37
SelectionofParticipants………………………………………………………38
DataCollection………………………………………………………………..40
DataAnalysis………………………………………………………………….42
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CreatingthePhenomenological Text……………………………………........44
Trustworthiness…………………………………………………………….....45
Summary………………………………………………………………………45
CHAPTER IV: FINDINGS...............................................................................................47
Portraits ofParticipants……………………………………………………….47
Participants’Descriptions of Loneliness……………………………………...57
General Factors Contributingto Loneliness……………………………..........76
CHAPTER V: DISCUSSION...........................................................................................99
Participants’Perspectives ComparedtoFindings from the Literature......................99
Conclusions.............................................................................................................103
TheRoleofthePastor’s Wifeand Its Impact onHer Loneliness……...........104
TheChoices ofthePastor’s WifeandTheir Impact onHer Loneliness…….107
ThePastor’s WifeandHerRelationshipwithGodand Its Impact onHer
Loneliness……………………………………………………………............109
Implications.............................................................................................................110
Implications forResearchers…………………………………………….......110
Implications forDenominations, Colleges, Seminaries andChurches……....112
Implications forCounselingPractice………………………………………...113
Suggestions for FutureResearch.............................................................................114
IdentityofthePastor’s Wife…………………………………………………115
PersonalityTraits andthePastor’s Wife……………………………….........115
IdentityofthePastor…………………………………………………………116
Summary..................................................................................................................117
REFERENCES................................................................................................................119
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APPENDIXA: INTERVIEW GUIDE............................................................................128
APPENDIXB: INFORMEDCONSENT........................................................................129
APPENDIXC: EPILOGUE............................................................................................132
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CHAPTER I: INTRODUCTION
Problem Background
Loneliness is amongthe most ordinarydistresses humans experience(Peplau&
Perlman,1982; Weiss,1973). Althoughthe experienceofloneliness is acommonone,it
remains atopicoflittlediscussion(Killeen,1998),withits prevalencedifficult to
measure(Weiss,1973). Whenindividuals recall theirexperiences withloneliness,they
frequentlyidentifybeingmost impactedbytheirperceptionof abandonment or
separationfrom others, theirfeelings ofbeingvulnerable anddevastated,as well as ahost
ofotheremotions (Rokach,1988).
This phenomenonofloneliness has elicitedmore “powerful andpain-filled
remarks” from pastors’ wives thananyotherissue(Brunette-Hill,1999,p.81). Although
loneliness elicits thesetypes ofresponses, investigationintoloneliness as describedby
thesewomenhas beenlimitedinbothquantityandscope.
Theroleofthepastor’s wifeis viewed as aplace ofprivilegeand as a
complicatedplaceofchallenge,becauseofthe emotional ambiguities involvedinher
fulfillingtherole. Withthesechallenges and ambiguities, apastor’s wifeoftenfinds it
difficult tomaintainemotional wholeness andbalanceinherlife(Zoba,1997). A
pastor’s wifemoves throughherdailylifewithout atrustedfriendtowhom sheis ableto
turnwhenneeded(Briscoe,2005). Furthermore, apastor’s wifeis at a greaterrisk of
experiencingloneliness thanawomanmarriedto anon-minister(Warner &Carter,
1984).
Anabundanceofliteratureaddresses issues relatedtoclergycouples (e.g. Blanton
&Morris, 1999; Brown, 1982; Cole,1991; Cothern,2002; Darling, Hill,& McWey,
2
2004; Ducklow,1995; Frame,1998; Frame &Shehan,1994; Goetz,1992,1997; Golz,
2005; Hartley& Taylor, 1977; Houts, 1982; Lee, 1999; Mace &Mace,1980; McMinn,
Lish, Trice,Root,Gilbert,&Yap,2005; Mickey, Wilson, &Ashmore,1991; Morris &
Blanton,1994,1995,1998; Warner&Carter,1984). Amodicum ofliteratureaddresses
issues focusedsolelyon pastors’wives (e.g.Baker,1989; Baker &Scott, 1992; Brackin,
2001; Brunette-Hill,1999; Hartley,1978; Huebner,1999; Mayo,1999; Niswander,1982;
Schmucker,1979; Speight,2005; Zoba,1997). Therefore,this studyattemptedtoaddto
theliteraturebyphenomenologicallyresearchingloneliness as experienced bypastors’
wives.
PurposeoftheStudy
Thepurposeofthis studywas toinvestigatetheindividual experiences ofpastors’
wives withthephenomenon,loneliness. Additionally,descriptions andexperiences of
loneliness were comparedandcontrasted amongparticipants.
Aqualitativemethodofinquiry,phenomenology, is best suitedforthis typeof
research(Creswell,1998; Portney&Watkins, 2000; van Manen,1990). This approach
allows theresearchertoinvestigatehowparticipants experienceand exhibit the
phenomenonbeingstudiedthroughtheperspectiveoftheparticipants’personal
experience(Creswell,1998; Portney&Watkins, 2000; vanManen,1990).
Research Questions
Inthis study,loneliness was perceived as acommonexperienceaffectingmany
pastors’wives. Additionally,apresuppositionfor this studywas that loneliness,when
experiencedbypastors’ wives,left manyofthese womensilent,never expressingtheir